I know some people who are at the crossroads in their life. They're starting to feel restless and wonder if they should venture out of their comfort zone to try a new job or relationship.
While it is always exciting to embark on something new, there's always an element of risk and uncertainty. Looking back, I have learned that while 'going forward' can be thrilling and fun, 'backing out' from a wrong one can be a real pain in the back.
I've learned that setting up a new business with partners will merely take a day but dissolving one can involve years of legal wrangling. The same applies to marriage. You meet someone, fall in love and can't wait to get married. But I've yet to see one divorce that's quite as smooth sailing as that.
Similarly, some thrillseekers cheat on their partners thinking they'll get out of an affair very easily. Of course we know it doesn't always turn out that way. Just look at Fatal Attraction.
In the past, it used to be so hard for me to deal with the rotten apples in our company. While it was easy to employ a person (afterall, you can put him or her on probation), asking the person to leave can be the hardest thing to do. Unfortunately that task always landed on my lap. I've dealt with tears, anger, pleas, resentment and threats. It was emotionally very draining and I would pray for them to resign instead (which never worked of course).
Trying to retain a good employee who's leaving or removing a bad employee who refuses to leave, either way, the process sucks. I guess that's why we often choose to dwell in our comfort zone....until our 'feet grow roots' and we're stuck there forever!
My best friend decided to switch jobs 5 years ago and has never looked back. She's very successful today. As for me, I've never lived life until I finally got out of a bad marriage.
So my advice is... If you're stuck in a rut, go with your heart. If it's not right for you, move out and move on. You'll be fine. A little setback will not kill you. It'll only make you stronger.
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12 comments:
Understand your points because they make so much sense. However I think by nature I'm a loyal person - to my employer (if they're good), to my place of living, to my lifestyle and my friends, and to my family.
I think it is that rather than me being afraid of change. So maybe that's why it's so hard for me to uproot myself?
Oh, if that's the case and you're perfectly happy where you are, then perhaps there is no reason for you to change your job. You can, however, make other changes in your life. Having a GF will be a big change :-) or maybe a new hobby.
Ting!
I can't agree more! At times we are really too scared to venture out of our comfort zone. But it is exactly that option that will open up great opportunities before us.
I am into more adventurous spirit and spontaneity this year. I hope to listen more to my heart instead of to my head. Hee Hee .. at times, these two entities can be in conflict!!
Great advice. Thanks for sharing. I also think that there are no standard formulas for everybody when feeling in a rut. I believe the best thing to do is to follow one's heart :)
Have a lovely weekend!
GREAT post, Blur! I've never worked in an office and I've never had to fire anybody, but I can imagine how tough it can be...esp. after reading this post. Uuuuhhhh...
But I agree with you: GO WITH YOUR HEARTTT HE HE HE HE...
Blur Ting, I couldn't agree more, sometimes you just have to follow your instincts.
I loved your post. I was thinking along similar yet slightly different thoughts a couple of days. I was thinking about how how easy it is to destroy things that take over years to build.
I think sometimes we don't get out of our rut because of the fear of unknown wed rather be miserable than risk being happy....
What a wonderful post, Blur. As you know, I'm in the process of trying to make some major life changes. Yesterday, I was gripped with this awful feeling - not exactly fear, but I felt paralyzed in that way.
All my life I have taken risks, and made changes, and never have they turned out to be mistakes - except for my move to Chicago.
I think I've been traumatized by it, and am finding myself in the unfamiliar territory of constantly second-guessing myself. Your post really helped me. Thank you.
By the way, as a manager, I too have had to let people go. No two ways about it - it just sucks. Take care and good luck.
Water - Yes, I agree about the conflict. It'll definitely happen!
Wen and Amel - you're both like me! Go with the heart :-)
RM - it's so sad. People tend to focus and harp on the bad things and forget about the good things a person have done.
Holly - I know what you mean. Sometimes we make a wrong move and worry about making more wrong decisions. Afterall, nobody can see the future. It's always a gamble. People are resilient and adaptable. It's not always completely bad.
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