Thursday, 11 March 2010

Manipulative

By now, I am disgusted with Jack Neo and his antics. And I am equally disgusted with myself for reading every media report available about this affair. You see, I know men who are just like him and it makes me sick in the stomach seeing how things have turned out.

While it is not unusual for men to cheat, it is despicable for men like him to manipulate the women in his life to make himself look good. Men like him are purely manipulative, period.

Firstly, he used his clout to lure sweet young things into his web. Some may call them bitches or witches, but what if your own daughter or niece fell victim to a dirty old man like him? What a girl who is barely out of her teens need is education and guidance. Even older women can waver under the charm of a charismatic male and mistake lust for love.

Petunia wrote a very emotional piece about this which makes me recall the days when I was 20. It also makes me glad that she's doing everything she can to raise her teenage daughter up properly.

I received a marriage proposal from a colleague when I was 20 thinking it was for real. I had just started working as a proof reader in a publishing firm. He was an editor from India. He must have set eyes on me the day I walked in but I didn't notice one bit of course.

I don't think he lavished any special attention on me, even if he did, I wouldn't have known. One day, he told me his mother in India was critically ill. Her wish was to see him get married before her death. That was when he proposed to me.

I went home feeling extremely confused. Mum was even more bewildered and prompty sent her brother to 'settle' the problem once and for all. We all met up the next day. No wedding bells for BT!

On hindsight, that fella knew how conservative I was, so it was all an elaborate ploy to get me to consummate with him. How despicable! It made me more wary of men after that.

There was a constant stream of undesirable characters at the firm. The sweet-talking salesmen (who sold advertising space) were constantly hovering around to flirt with the girls. The next publishing house I worked with was no better. The middle-aged boss was a lecherous one who would lean really close at every opportunity for a cheap thrill. I avoided him at all cost. Needless to say, I quit soon after.

I was actually quite relieved when I met my ex-husband because I didn't have to deal with anymore unwanted attention. I could finally declare "Sorry, I'm already attached" when potential suitors called me at home.

What I'm trying to say is, at 20, I was naive and may find it difficult to fend off a predator like Jack Neo.

What's more terrible about the whole Jack Neo affair is how he had dragged his wife into the whole hullabaloo. It is an extremely humiliating and traumatising experience for her. She looks like a nice lady, she certainly doesn't deserve this. He should know better but no, he talked her into facing the press to garner sympathy.

I could be wrong but being the supportive wife that she is, she felt she needed to help him. One day, she will look back and feel extremely manipulated.

I know people like Jack who will cry and sob at the drop of a hat and make themselves look so sorry and pathetic. Yet they will not hesitate to drag their religious leaders, friends and spouse in to rally around and shield him. Men like him are extremely self-centered. They are cowards and bullies. Sadly, they don't change.

6 comments:

Nick Phillips said...

Yes, I have to agree with you that most men are really a despicable bunch of creatures!

Anonymous said...

oh not forgetting a member of our cabinet who was also named among his enlisted helpers.

auntielucia said...

Blur, think this is one subject that we take diametrically opposite views. Still, views like yours got a supporter in my mum who actually believes it cld all be a publicity stunt. How cynical for an octogenarian!

Blur Ting said...

Nick - Well, there are good ones too.

Amel said...

I agree with you that at 20 y.o. it's easy for older men to win over the younger girl's attention due to their "charm" or whatever you call it. It's not easy to raise kids. Period he he he...

qa said...

I think his wife said she forgave him it is for the sake of the family. But she has already been hurt. Can she forget everything and pretend that nothing has happened.

Now he said his wife and family are the most precious treasure. If he really thinks so, he would not have started the affair in the first place.