I woke up feeling dizzy this morning. The feeling was weird, as if I had been drinking all night. I tried walking to the kitchen and bumped against the wall. It was frightening and bewildering. I felt unsteady, as if I was floating in air, and my stomach felt strangely empty.
I couldn't walk Rusty, how to drive him to the vet in the morning? I woke YK up and told him I was too dizzy to send him to school. Then I made my way back to the room.
As I laid in bed, I thought of my poor mum who has been suffering from dizziness for decades. Now I know what it must be like for her to be giddy all day long. No wonder she looks and feels unwell all the time. In the span of two hours, I moaned about it to anyone who cared to listen. But mum doesn't milk enough sympathy out of us because we're not the ones suffering.
I woke up an hour later, head heavy and feeling a little queasy. Maybe it had something to do with my tummy. I felt better after breakfast. It was when I could walk steadily again that I realised how we take little things in life for granted.
I didn't feel all that well today but I'm beginning to think that I'm made to go through these tests so that I can understand what my mother is going through. For the last two years, she had been complaining about an annoying sensation she describes as 'ants crawling under her facial skin' . Her doctor simply dismissed it as something not life threatening, so just live with it.
For some strange reason, I experienced that sensation one night. It was like an army of ants crawling under my cheek. I pinched and clawed my face like how mum would do it but it was futile. It suddenly stopped and all was well again.
Then it returned two nights later. I was lying in bed when the area around the nostril suddenly started to hurt. This time, it was like ants biting and tugging under my skin. I clutched my nose and started tearing. I reached for a painkiller immediately. It was horrible and I felt sorry that mum has to go through this pain on a regular basis.
Thank goodness those were the only attacks I've had. It's so mysterious that until now, I have no idea what brought them on. Whatever it is, I don't ever want to go through with it again. Now I know why mum is so determined to be completely well again, even if it means having a dozen needles stuck in her. Yes, I'm bringing her for accupunture again tomorrow.