Tuesday, 2 February 2010

The old lady

I was quite surprised yet intrigued when I read about Fry's post today. She provides personal consultancy and fengshui readings for her clients. Sometimes in the process of consultation, her client starts to get emotional. I think a job of this nature can very energy-draining, really not the kind of job for emotional people like me.

I'm about to go visit an old lady. She's actually a friend's mum. I don't even know that friend very well but his mum took a liking to me after some of us visited their house one Christmas. Even now, years later, she calls me frequently because she says she enjoys talking to me.

I like chatting with her but sometimes when life gets too busy, I had to avoid her phone calls. The trouble is, her life is not all that rosy, according to the stories she tells. She talks about how badly her daughter-in-law treats her and how miserable life is. I get angry listening to the things she is going through, and that none of her 4 children are lifting a finger to help.

As an outsider, I feel helpless. I offer so many suggestions but the situation seems to be getting worse. I can only lend a listening ear or visit her whenever I have the time. Sometimes I wished I had an extra apartment so she, her husband and daughter can move out and live a better life. Other times I feel like shouting at her kids for being mean.

She probably feels that life has been unkind to her. She wants to leave the misery but she has nowhere to go, so she calls me for some comfort.

Honestly, her phone calls often leave me with a heavy heart and feeling guilty that I haven't done enough.

That's why I am going to bring her some goodies this afternoon. Hope my visit will cheer her up. And I can get rid of the guilt pangs.


Open Kitchen Concept said...

Ting, u r such a good person. Seriously you are. I hope we all age gracefully and stay independent even when we are old.. :)

Open Kitchen Concept said...

Oh.. BTW, did u see my questions on the Teochew duck soup post you had (I had to search for the post..) Hehe. I am planning to make it next week! For CNY.. :)

Blur Ting said...

OKC - they're quite pitiful actually. You would feel compelled to help them if you speak to them too.

The ginger I use for kiam chye duck soup is the normal old ginger. If you like the soup extra peppery, you can throw in some whole peppercorn into the soup to boil right from the start. If not, you can forgo this step and just add a dash of ground white pepper before serving.

I'm sure your soup will taste good. I suggest you keep tasting at intervals. If it is too bland, add in more kiam chye as you go along or more sour plums if you like it tangy.

Burcu said...

The unfortunate thing is, sometimes some people do not understand how heavy and tiresome to others. They keep talking and make you regret to be with them at that moment!
I have got a friend who's about to divorce from her husband and she's calling me almost everyday about her plans to make him bottom out.
Ok i like to help her by listening and sharing her problems but after a while ia m feeling totally bored because she thinks that the world is spinning around her and nothing can be worse than her situation.
That's why i don't wanna take her calls anymore because i am fed up with hearing the same story again and again.

Anyway, i think we should be cool and patient in these kind of situations.

Thanks for sharing Blur!


ong said...

it is very meaningful to cheer her up. Try to let her see that her life is after all not too bad compared to many others. Always stay postive. Cheers !

オテモヤン said...


The World According To Me said...

Sometimes all we want is someone to listen and care, so I'm sure she appreciates you more than you think. And I bet the goodies put a smile on her face and she was touched by your kindness.

petunialee said...

There are 2 sides to the same coin. It may not be as bad as she makes it out to be?

Blur Ting said...

Petunia - That was what I thought at first but when I saw how she had been beaten, I knew she wasn't exaggerating. Her daughter-in-law seems to be losing her sanity and is filled with hatred for everybody, even her own husband.