Tuesday, 13 January 2009

Expectations

Sometimes mum complains that my dad is not caring or loving towards her. I always jump to his defence. "Of course he cares! He may not bring you out for romantic dinners or make you laugh but he takes really good care of the family. He does everything he can to ensure you have a comfortable home to live in and he even does the marketing. He keeps himself healthy and does little chores. He doesn't interfere with your activities and is always engaged in gardening or home improvement projects. You never have to worry about such things."

Mum would then agree that he's a good man and that being romantic is simply not his forte. Maybe he's behaving like a traditional asian father and he probably can get away with it. Younger women these days will kick up a fuss if they're not given enough attention by their spouse.

I constantly read about bloggers singing high praises of their spouse. One lady is still gushing about how crazily in love she is with her husband of 6 years. From what I gather, he adores and supports her, makes her laugh and giggle daily over silly things, engages in meaningful conversations, gives her foot massages, helps out with the kids and does little projects around the house. He takes her on adventures and his passion for life makes her want to be a better person.

I find it very heartwarming when I read of bloggers who speak so fondly of their husband. Yet, on the other hand, I also worry about setting expectations after that. When you're dating and leading separate lives, you don't have alot of expectations but once both live under the same roof with kids in tow, it's probably a different story.

10 comments:

jyankee said...

Yeah and living together is way different than dating... LOL... Papa Bean is not really "romantic" in that way either... flowers and all that.. but I know he cares and does way more than expected in terms of Coffee and other stuff around the house... so I'll not complain!

Nick Phillips said...

We all care about our spouse in our own different way :D

WaterLearner said...

It's interesting to have wine or any novelty drink once in a while, but it's the very plain and uninteresting water that never fails to quench the thirst.

Sweet romantic gestures, love letters and I-love-you's are really overstated in the world today. But many silent gestures of love that those your papa makes will does more quiet wonders and effects like water that quenches the thirst.

PS: My hubs is really one unromantic man. But I do see the love that he has for me in the quiet gestures that he makes for me.

Burcu said...

You know Blur, after years, the love between couples turns into clemency. The thing they need becomes faith till the end of their lives. But i love it very much when i see a couple sitting in a cafe hand in hand. They look so sweet!!!

The World According To Me said...

I no longer have high expectations in love, then again I would like a hubby like the bloggers hubby of 6 years!

Blur Ting said...

JY - I think romance is not important but having someone who loves and supports you, and adds value (like do stuff around the house!!) is more valuable.

Blur Ting said...

Nick - I know lah. You excel at caring for your spouse!

Blur Ting said...

Water - Yes! Can tell by the things you've mentioned in your blog that he's so sweet to you :-)

Blur Ting said...

Burcu - While we know that a relationship becomes more practical as time goes by, still women can't help but feel weak kneed when they see romantic couples.

Blur Ting said...

World - Sigh. Me too!