Tuesday, 20 January 2009

No skeletons

The kids frequently use my camera to take photos of their pets (Rusty and fishes), download onto my computer before transfering to theirs. Sometimes when I'm busy driving, they would help me read or send phone messages. They can come into my room anytime of the day or night to look for things or rummage through my closet. In other words, I have nothing to hide. No skeletons in my closet or stacks of cash stashed away.

Now that I have a blog, my life is like an open book. Sometimes I reveal too much about myself. When I first started dating as a single mom, my well-meaning friends were concerned. "Maybe you shouldn't talk about your kids during the first date. You'll scare the suitor away", they advised.

I thought otherwise. I knew it would be difficult to get back on the dating scene again with kids in tow but how long can I hide my status? I don't like living a lie and would rather lay my cards out right from the start. It's definitely better than giving that someone a surprise months down the road. If he is sincere, he'll learn to get along with me and the kids. Otherwise I'm better off without him.

I like living with a clear conscience because I know how hard it is living with lies. I don't have to worry about people going through my stuff or scrolling through my phone messages or looking at my photo albums. I don't have to whisper into the phone, avoid phone calls, tip toe around the house or arrange clandestine meetings.

I remember how my ex would check through my phone and emails or read my diary while I was asleep at night. Thinking back, I wonder if he was more interested in finding out how much I knew about him or what I was hiding from him. Ah, he is one person who has too many secrets to hide. Frankly I never did give a damn.

9 comments:

mooiness said...

I agree - it's better to be upfront because you can determine the guy's suitability to fit in with *your* life right away.

Besides, life is short. You can't afford to waste time and energy beating around the bush. :)

Nick Phillips said...

When you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to worry about :D

jyankee said...

Yes...I agree..nothing to hide...nothing to worry about...but the clandestine searching behind the partner's back is one true sign of distrust..yuck...who needs that?

charlie hotel said...

Are you sur eyou don't have cookies under the bed? ;-)

Burcu said...

Hi Blur,
You know this is not your fault to be this much beautiful and attract people's attention. So no need to hide your children or bad marriage from anyone! Everyone can experience something bad, and nobody is perfect. And if the man whom you date with is against your children or against your private life, you'll see that he's not the right person for you because he doesn't respect your past.
About mails,mobile messages and photos...Did you know that some women love this behaviour of their men?Because they think that they're being jealoused and that means men love them.Please do not compromise your assets!
And i'm sure you're gonna find the right person that you match. Just keep yourself cool ;)

Hugs

Burcu

Fresh Fry aka 福星 said...

me think for this CNY season, she may have sugees + bak kwa also under the bed leh! ahahahahahahaha......

*runs away*

Hapi said...

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The World According To Me said...

I totally agree too - always best to be upfront and honest with people. I know I respect people like that and would rather people were like that. But then again, I have no skeletons in the cupboard either, so it's easy for me to say that.

Amel's Realm said...

Agree, agree. That's why since we began to get to know each other, I asked R2 to be very open to me. I just don't want to hear anything about his past from other people. I'd rather hear everything straight from him. :-)))