Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Late bloomer

Something good happened to me as I entered the new year. I have finally found peace within myself. In the past, I always found it hard to turn people down. In other words, I feel bad when I have to say no or reject anyone. I wonder if it has anything to do with self esteem issues or anything but I would feel miserable if I couldn't help someone and I hate to see anyone disappointed.

So you can imagine for most part of my life, I had been trying to please others, didn't matter if I ended up happy or not. It's a terrible way to live isn't it? I can see a bit of that in my kids now and it makes me mad, and sad. Why can't they realise that the world will not fall apart or that friends will not like them any less if they didn't conform to their expectations?

But now I realise it is easier said than done. For many others, it is probably easy peasy. For the rest of us, it takes alot of experience and maturity to analyse a situation, weigh the consequences and take decisive action.

I can't believe it took me 4 decades to come to my senses. I'm proud I have handled several incidents in the last few weeks very well to make me realise I've finally arrived. I won't go into details but by being honest and open with some people I know, I'm still being respected; life still goes on without me feeling miserable. In fact, I have never felt any lighter.

I must be a late bloomer. In fact, I've always been a late bloomer in many areas of my life. Even though I had been in business for over 20 years, I had never run a company sensibly until 10 years ago. Sometimes we do things for the sake of doing. Take my marriage for example, I was merely existing, I didn't really live life until I was out of it. Even when I was dating after that, I wasn't really sure of what I really wanted until later.

Time changes alot of things including a person's perspective and views. I believe age and stability play a part too. For some people, they learn quickly but for others, it just takes longer. Some kids start to walk at 9 months. Some can only walk at 2. It really doesn't matter. My friend only started talking when he turned 7 but nobody can out-talk him now.

10 comments:

Charlie Hotel said...

You've come a long way baby!

WaterLearner said...

Late or early is relative.

But being able to say no is the first step to being comfortable to whoever you are.

Amel's Realm said...

That's what I've also told myself over and over again these days when I feel that I haven't "accomplished" more than others...since most of them are already settled in their career or they've got kids already and stuff like that...whereas I still don't know what kind of job I can do and when I can have my own kids...I have to tell myself that everybody is DIFFERENT and I don't have to conform to other people's "growth" he he he...

Fresh Fry aka 福星 said...

got bloom better than neber worrrr. *WIDE GRIN*

Amel's Realm said...

Forgot to add: WAY TO GO on saying no!!! :-))))

Nick Phillips said...

This is the year where wifey and me have decided to stop doing things to please others. We've come to a conclusion our happiness is all that matters.

Blur Ting said...

CH - Yah, indeed!

Blur Ting said...

Water - It will surprise you how kiasu parents here are. They're always constantly comparing their kids development with other kids.

Blur Ting said...

Amel - Don't worry so much about other people's accomplishment because everyone's life is different. Besides, the pasture always appears greener on the other side. Your life is going great from what I can see.

Blur Ting said...

Fresh Fry - Yalor. You summed it up so nicely :-)