Wednesday, 14 January 2009

Lonely parent

Being a single parent can be a bloody lonely job, even more so when you're at the crossroads of your child's life. When YK received his GCE O level results, I called mum immediately to share the joy because I know she's the only other person in his life who really cares.

Of course my colleague enquired too because her son went through the same exams last year and emerged the top student in his school. When best friend called later, I could only say "Oh, YK did ok." Then there was a pause on both ends. In fact, a pregnant pause. She was waiting for me to rattle off his scores but I decided to keep mum. Why? Because it doesn't really matter. Her son is in one of the top schools in Singapore, hence is exempted from sitting for this exam. He automatically gets admission into one of the best junior colleges here.

Her niece, who 's the same age as YK was the top student in her primary school. I'm surprised my other friend Evelyn didn't call me. Her daughter was the top girl in her primary school some years ago. Both girls secured a place in the most prestigious girls school. They must have gained direct admission into Raffles Junior College already.

For some reason, most of my friends have really smart kids. So what is good to me may be mediocre to them. But to me, every kid has a different capacity to learn.

Still it is important to help my son make the right decision. YK has already made his choices but wanted to sit down and run through with me before making the final submission.

I suddenly grew worried. What if we make the wrong decisions? I have no one to bounce off ideas with. YK's father is unaware of what's happening in the kids life and I don't usually bother CH with such matters.

"Have you discussed with your friends or teachers? Do you know what kind of future you'll have with these courses? Why don't you speak to your aunt (my sis in law who's a lecturer in poly)?"

"No need. Biomed is what I want." He said confidently and sent out his application online. Oh well, the choices have already been made and I'm behind him.

18 comments:

WaterLearner said...

If he is so sure of what he wants, let's just support him and stand behind him.

Anyway many in Singapore end up having jobs that have absolutely nothing to do with their fields of study!

Burcu said...

And biomedical is one of the brightest job in near future as far as i follow from web.
When i've read your post, my first excitments for university came to my mind. I wasn't very sure what to choose. But my family always supported me whatever i choose.
Now i'm 24 and graduated from University. 5 years passed very very very quickly.

Hugs

The World According To Me said...

It sounds like he knows what he wants, which is half the battle! And he knows you will always support him and stand by him, so I think he's in a great position.

jyankee said...

You've raised them right...they'll make good choices for themselves. Perhaps grades are good for getting into the #1 university..but in the end..in the real world..does ANYONE ever ASK about what kind of scores they had in school?

fishwithoutbicycle said...

I think it's great that he knows his own mind and you are there to support him 100%. My parents steered me to what they thought were the best choices, but I didn't necessarily do what I wanted. These days I work long hours in a job I have no passion for. Doing what you love is the best way to be successful.

Amel's Realm said...

School grades aren't the most important thing in life, even though it does help to get accepted to universities or colleges, but I've seen many "average-graded" friends of mine become successful men and women. :-)))

And yeah, at least he knows what he wants. As long as he enjoys what he's doing, I don't think you can go wrong with that.

The Real Mother Hen said...

Ting - no child is perfect and no decision is perfect too. YK will do well because he is sensible and you are behind him. That matters.

*hug*

charlie hotel said...

To be honest, I had no idea what I wanted at his age. Support his decision I say.

Blur Ting said...

Water - It's true that they may end up doing something totally unrelated to what they had studied.

Blur Ting said...

Burcu - Yah, Biomed is the hot topic now. I know that feeling...it's nice when you have family supporting you.

Blur Ting said...

World - Yes, at least he knows what he wants cos I'm so out of touch!

Blur Ting said...

JY - Good scores will only help in some ways (like getting a scholarship ) but if they're not of that calibre, we just have to accept it.

Blur Ting said...

Fish - You're right. Having passion makes all the difference!

Blur Ting said...

Amel - You've seen for yourself that success isn't all dependent on school results. It is a combination of so many factors.

Blur Ting said...

MH - Yup, you summed it up so nicely!

Blur Ting said...

CH - Choose already, have to support lor.

EE said...

Our children require guidance and support far more than instruction. You are a wonderful mom who has raised 2 good kids! XOXO.

Blur Ting said...

Hey EE! Thanks!! And you're right. They'll look towards us for guidance, so we must always be there for them.