Tuesday, 26 February 2008

The seven-year-itch

I've been feeling a little restless lately and I'm blaming it on the seven-year-itch.

Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm not suffering from relationship restlessness (that one hasn't reached the 7th year milestone yet). It's almost 7 years since I started life anew. Yes, more than 2,000 days have passed since I moved back to live with my parents.

The first few years were more dramatic. There were debts to pay, kids to console, a new business to run and loads of other stuff to cope with. Things started falling into place over time to the extent that I feel that my life has stagnated. I have not made much progress after that.

What was meant to be a temporary move while I sort out my life and claim back my apartment has dragged into 7 long years of living off my parents.

My visions of the kids and I living in our own little house, each with our own room, the dogs in the yard and us lounging on our own furniture still remain a vision after all these years. While I'm glad that I've come this far today, I do feel a little sad that my dreams are still out of reach.

On a good day, I am so grateful that life has been good to us but on some days, I can't help but feel inadequate that I haven't provided even the most basic need for our little family, that is, a roof over our head. I know we'll get there some day. Maybe I'm just too impatient.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

dont be so hard on yourself blur...7 years is long, but it is also short...you have made A LOT of progress...probably in areas that are not so evident..... be good to yourself!

J@n!ce said...

You are a strong woman, I can see that you are doing good so far. Don't push yourself too hard. All the best to you :)

Blur Ting said...

Thanks JY and Janice. I could settle for a tiny place but my boys aren't that tiny and my tiny dog needs his space to run... anyhow, it's still a tiny problem since we still have my parent's place...

SOUL: said...

look on the bright side--
you have a live in babysitter--- and you are close by to watch out for the folks-- right?
besides, it's never too late to start to look for a place -- right? it'll happen.. when it's sposed to happen.
it doesn't seem like you have been unhappy--- if it is getting that way-- then now is the time to change-- you can't change what is past though.

anyhow--
take care .. and don't worry too much about whats behind--or too far ahead. just do what you can for today-- the rest will fall into place. k?

happy humpday!

Amel's Realm said...

Hey, you've been doing a WONDERFUL JOB as a single Mom. You should be proud of yourself. As to having your own house...well, maybe the time just hasn't come yet. NEVER GIVE UP! GAMBATTE KUDASAI!!! One little step of a time.

Remember that your NY resolution is to be kind to yourself. HUGS!!!!! :-)))) And I'm sure your kids understand! ;-D

The World According to Me said...

I can understand where you are coming from Blur. I moved back to my parents house three years ago, after my marriage broke up. But I didn't have children to worry about and care about, and my own business to attend to, so I can appreciate it's been harder for you.
(But I'm still paying off debts!)
I know I'm lucky to have a loving family to live with, and a family who have helped me get my life back on track. But I get days where I get frustrated too, especially when I look at my friends and their lives and feel I am being left behind!

By the sounds of it, you have come a long way, achieved so much, and as a result you are a stronger, more determined person. Who knows what's round the corner? Your time, and your own home will come! (Hopefully mine will soon as well!)

The Real Mother Hen said...

Has it been 7 years?
Time really flies, doesn't it?

Soon YK may want to be on his own though, then SK... ok by then you can live in our little place :)

moby sky said...

good things come to those who wait...

and besides...i'm sure that almost anyone and everyone (myself included) would give an arm and a leg to stay where you reside now. so nice!!! =)

Blur Ting said...

Yah Soul, you're right. I should really enjoy all the love around me and not fret about this. Most importantly, I should feel blessed for the health and everything else. I guess it's just one of those days that I feel weighed down.

Thanks for your encouragement :-)

Blur Ting said...

Amel, thanks for reminding me. Gee, it's Feb and I've forgotten my resolution!! :-)

Blur Ting said...

Hi World, you're right, the time will come. That's such a wise advice. The consqeuences wouldn't be pretty if one is not ready....

Blur Ting said...

Thanks MH, you're the best!

YK was in Pri 4 when we moved in, he's in Sec 4 now. I can't imagine I have been driving to/fro for so long!! I thought it would stop when they finish primary school.

Blur Ting said...

Moby, you're right. I would never be able to afford living here too, if not for my parents :-)

Nick Phillips said...

Hey, don't judge yourself too harshly. So far you've been doing a great job from what I read in your blog. And besides, you're still young and the world is yours for the picking. As long as you still have the drive, you'll get what you wish for eventually.