Happy Birthday Ma!

Seventy years ago, a tiny baby was born in Singapore to Chinese immigrant parents from Fujian province. The first few years of her life were hard. Her father worked as a taxi driver who struggled to support a big family. A bad-tempered man who ruled the household with an iron fist, he had a soft spot for this frail girl, the child with a sweet temperament and delicate features. That little girl is my mum. Ma turns 70 today.

Living in a big household with ten siblings, life was filled with chores and childhood pranks. It was also filled with trauma for she was merely 5 years old when the Japanese invaded Singapore. Forced to flee for their lives and hide in trenches, they were lucky to emerge unscathed. Life resumed to normality soon after. Village life was simple but hard. Being one of oldest, she had her chores. At the crack of dawn, she and her sister would lug the laundry to the nearest well for washing. Imagine two little girls struggling to draw water from the well and scrubbing loads of dirty clothes in the cold morning! The task was fraught with danger too. Her sister fell into the deep well once, and Ma ran all the way home screaming for help. Her sister was lucky to be hauled up alive but in a state of shock.

Being the favourite child had its privileges. My grandfather had the foresight to give her some education. At that time, it was uncommon for girls to attend school. She became the rose among the thorns in class. Life in school was no bed of roses for her though. She was taunted endlessly by the boys in class, except for one quiet but seriously good looking boy who would become my dad. Being a smart cookie, she always topped the class and went on to an all-girls secondary school and pre-university. Traveling to school often proved to be a nightmare. Torrential downpours would leave the entire village flooded. Traffic would come to a standstill and there was no telecommunications to speak of. She would arrive home close to midnight, hungry and cold, after wading through chest-deep water. Till today, she would marvel at how they overcame such adversities at a young age. They could have been swept away by the currents…

After a brief stint as a trainee nurse, she realized that wasn’t her calling. She later found a job at the Royal Air Force. Those were the best years of her life. Her diligence and beauty attracted many suitors but she had her eyes set on my father. They got married and life was comfortable. I remember attending Christmas parties at the Air Base and getting presents from Santa Claus and her English colleagues. We used to visit her best friend Aunty Madevi who later married an airman and migrated to Australia.

After the British army withdrew from Singapore, she was given the golden handshake. Faced with three children and itching for something to do, dad suggested orchid farming. From a small farm in our backyard, Ma manages a commercial orchid farm with several workers today.

She’s indeed a remarkable woman. At 70, she’s mentally and physically alert. She walks up and down the 5-acre farm every morning doing some work to keep herself fit and busy. She’s got a better memory and vocab than me.

In business, she’s well liked because of her honesty and patience. Once she has made a commitment, she keeps to her word. Never extravagant, she’s fiercely independent and prefers a simple life. The idea of wheeling and dealing in a competitive world is distasteful to her and she’s rarely driven by the prospect of financial gain.

But underneath her calm exterior, she can be as stubborn as an ox if pushed against her will. I remember she was hotheaded as a young mother. I used to get scolded when she coached me in math. Being a busy mum, she made sure we grew up independent too. We had to wash and cook whenever she was busy in the farm. That is something I am always grateful for until today.

She’s mostly sociable and relaxed but occasionally a dark cloud looms over her and she’ll take on the worries of the world. She prefers serenity and she needs space to mull over problems and work through ideas, but being a smart woman, she always find the logical approach to her problems.

Every now and then she’ll be encouraged to try something new. She has traveled to many places across the world. We’ve gone on several mother-daughter trips which I always cherish.
Ma never nags and is always proud of our achievements. I’ve made some bad decisions in my life but she has never judged or criticized me. She doesn’t say “I’ve told you so.” Instead, she’s always encouraging me to move forward. She’s a pillar of strength and she shows her concern and care in so many ways. Her love is unconditional. She embraces me and the kids with wide open arms, we know we can always turn to her anytime.

At this age, she’s often plagued by small ailments which weaken her. She’s not as sprightly as before and doesn’t have anymore desire to travel the world. She’s done so much for us all these years, it’s time she enjoys her golden years, surrounded by lively grandkids and family warmth.

When I see her little face with the girlish demeanour, I see her past and my future.

When I grow up, I wanna be just like you Ma. Happy birthday!