Thursday, 2 August 2007

Mum's condition

We met up with two consultants at the hospital yesterday and today. The scan result shows a 2cm benign tumour growing in mum’s head. Her file is now handed over to the neurosurgeon who will see her end of August. Initial discussions with the consultants seem to veer towards radiotherapy treatment but we've yet to see what the brain doctor recommends.

Meanwhile mum is putting a brave front. She’s resilient in many ways but I know she’s losing sleep and a lot of weight. She’s also displaying a whole range of emotions which is understandable.

She’s disappointed that the specialist she consulted three years ago about her hearing problem simply told her it was due to old age and did not perform any tests or scans. She’s filled with regrets like “I should have sought a second opinion earlier” and sometimes anger “It must be due to my job….the way the customers are stressing me out all day!” or

Guilt - “I don’t want to bother you or your brothers to bring me to the hospital all the time.”
Self pity - “It’s ok to die as long as my children and grandkids are around me.”
Doubt -“I wonder if your father and brothers care about me at all.”
Frustration - “If only we lived nearer to town, I would be able to get around and seek treatment earlier.”
Self consolation -“I want to get it (treatment) done and over with.”
Discomfort -“I’m feeling so unwell and sick.”
Whiny - “Why do we have to wait so long to see the doctor?”
Fear - "What are the risks involved?"
Hope - "Maybe the headache and dizziness will go away once and for all."

Of course we all care for her. She knows that too. Well, for now, all I hope for is to see her well again.

14 comments:

mooiness said...

Best regards to your mom and your family. It's hard for an outsider to offer anything else except those words.

As for changes in mood/behaviour, that may be expected due to the tumour.

Blur Ting said...

Thanks Mooiness, really appreciate it. There's nothing much I can do now too. Just hope for the treatment to go well.

Anonymous said...

Well continue to give your her love and care as you do everyday.. but don't go overboard or you'll spook her.

JYankee said...

yeah blur... give my regards.. just wait and see how everything turns out.!

HollyGL said...

My thoughts will be with you and your mom as you move forward with this. She is lucky to have such a special daughter to care for her.

Diesel said...

So if it's benign, I assume that it's a problem because of the pressure it's putting on the brain?

The Real Mother Hen said...

Oh Ting! Wish that I can be there with her now...

Blur Ting said...

Thanks Holly and MH! Mum's very much loved around here.

Diesel - the tumour has damaged the nerve of her left ear. It's now a dead ear. It's affecting her facial nerve on her left side. That side feels numb and her tongue has lost the sense of taste. I would say it is affecting her quality of life a great deal.

SOUL: said...

i'm not up to date on all of this. i apologize for that.
is this operable? will they remove it, and she will be ok? i sure hope so.

i do understand everything you described that she is going through with all the many emotions, and frustrations with dr's etc. boy do i.

she is very lucky to have a kid like you, that can see and feel all of this. and truly understand her.

prayers.
for all of you.

Blur Ting said...

Hey Soul, thanks! I believe she'll undergo radiotherapy but the condition is irreversible. Still, we must do something.

I read about your frustration too. Hang in there and stay positive!

David said...

Hi Ting. Sorry to hear about your mom's condition. I'm sending Good Bastard Vibes out to both of you!

All the best,

David

seagrape said...

so sorry to hear about your mom. hoping for the best.

Epimenides said...

Oh Ting! My best wishes to your mom. I hope it all soon becomes a bad memory and she returns to her normal life, healthy and happy!

Random Magus said...

My prayers are with you. My dad really became very difficult during his illness and he still has major mood swings after the bypass.