Sunday, 13 April 2008

Farm Fun?

Visitors at our farm.

Some of the farms in Singapore are undergoing major transformation. Instead of operating merely as a farm, they're re-inventing themselves by going into agri-tainment for extra income.
Besides home-style villas with terraces looking out onto fields of bananas, one can expect to see spas, seafood restaurants and beer gardens with live band playing by night. Some smaller farms feel they can stay viable with this new income.
Well, we have the farm, the space and even a nice reservoir in our backyard. In other words, we have the potential to be an agri-tainment centre.
But I don't think this is what my parents want. Firstly, they treasure the privacy and tranquility of living in their own little haven. Every weekend, we see hordes of people descending on the vegetable farm just up the hill. Just dealing with the huge buses and large amount of cars and people milling around the estate is enough to make to make our temperature rise.
We're lucky to live in a private area right at the end of the road. Yet, there are people who drive right through our gate, into our cul-de-sac just to make a U-turn despite our 'Private Property, No Trespassing" sign outside our estate.
My parents treat our farm as their villa. While my dad is anxious to see some positive returns on his investment into the farm, he's not ready to remodel it into a circus. Afterall, he's already 70 and has no plans for expansion especially when he knows that it's not going to be a big money-making business.
My mum, on the other hand, is suffering from depression from her immobility. While most tumour patients could almost revert back to normal life after radiosurgery, mom has almost become an invalid. She lies in bed most of the day, seldom venturing out of the house because of her instability and weak condition.
I feel for her frustration, yet I am quite helpless. From a capable woman who had full control of the farm operations just a year ago, she is having difficulty even walking across the room. Instead of discussing about orchids and fussy customers like before, all she talks about is her suffering and deteriorating health. What else can I tell her besides to stay strong and be positive? But I'm not the one suffering, how can I fully understand what she's going through? Sadly, hearing the same depressing words day in day out makes one feel less sympathetic.
My dad feels that it is now his responsibility to manage the farm, despite having to run his other business. He is working harder than before. I think having a live band playing in our garden with a happy crowd high on beer is the last thing on his mind right now.


JYankee said...

gosh... i hope the best for your mom is kinda the same..and she didnt even have radiation therapy...she just has a heart condition and cataracts in the eyes...but she's going on and on.... i dont know what to do for her either...we recently had to move her from her home to a more round the clock assisted living service .....

Blur Ting said...

JY - Sorry to hear about your mom's condition too. It's sad especially when they cannot come to terms with their illness.

I used to see my friend's father potter around the house even after he had a stroke which left him almost paralysed on one side. Despite his limited movements, he was very independent and cooked his own meals and did little things around the house to keep himself busy. I have never heard him sigh.

When I suggested gently to my mom to try gentle stretching exercises because she was getting cramps on her legs, she would say "I can't even stand properly, how to do stretching?" Well, I said, "You can stretch while sitting down too." She is filled with self pity at this point, very hard to get the message across.

Amel's Realm said...

Sorry to hear about your Mom. I understand it's hard to see - you're helpless but you also can't stand hearing the same words over and over again. Sigh...

I hope she'll get through her self-pity period so that she can enjoy her life no matter what. What else can she do with her situation, I wonder? Is there something else she likes doing that can bring her enjoyment without moving too much?

Nick Phillips said...

Gee, so sorry to hear about your mom. I hope she'll somehow get around the self pity aspect of life and enjoy what's left if life. Life is too precious to wallow in self pity but then I'm not suffering from it so I can't be one to judge someone. It's not easy what your mom must be going through though ...

Blur Ting said...

To be fair, on some days, she's more upbeat but on others, she feels down. Her tastebuds are also affected by the condition and hence, she has little appetite and appreciation of food. That's also part of the reason why she's so weak.

Blur Ting said...

Well, I wish she can be back to her sprightly self again. I'd like to see her striding down the garden in her big rubber boots like the mom I've always known.

WaterLearner said...

I hope your mom gets better soon. Depression is not something easy to treat. I guess what you can give is lots of love and quiet support.


The World According to Me said...

I'm sorry to read about your Mum. It must be so hard to hear and watch. I guess you just have to be there for her (which of course you are) and pray for brighter, stronger days ahead. I'm sure she gets comfort from having her family around her.

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hi Blur Ting, sorry to hear your mother is feeling depressed. Hopefully she'll come to terms with the situation. It must be tough on her. Best, Fish x