Monday, 20 July 2009

Just move on

For some reason I woke up feeling really happy today. I made breakfast, walked the dog, dropped the kids in school, breezed through traffic and arrived at the office at 8am.

The rising sun was peeking through the clouds and I told myself it's going to be a great day. And that will be today's tip on Happy Ideas - When you wake up, tell yourself you want to be happy today. And chances are, you will be.

The irony is, by 9am, I was already in tears. Only one person in this world is capable of driving me to tears that easily, and that is my ex. He called out of the blue, from another continent, asking about the kids. The conversation started civil enough but soon escalated into a shouting match. We both slammed the phone down in anger.

It's hard to imagine that even after so many years, we still can't conduct a decent conversation. All that can be forgiven and forgotten had already been done. Still, some bitterness lingers. That, combined with his temper and my defensiveness, can become a mixture potent enough to make one (him) explode or implode (me). Whatever it is, it just makes the day suck.

After the tears had been shed, I reminded myself that it's supposed to be my happy day. And then suddenly, I snapped out of it. Just like that!

It goes to show that the theory works. I could choose to wallow in self pity and misery all day. But I decided to focus on the other good things in my life, and the entire day takes a different turn.

I have learned over the years that we are the ones in control of our emotions. If I allow a bad incident to affect my mood all day, I'm the foolish one. The other person would have moved on and there I am, still nursing and licking the emotional wounds hours later.

So the earlier we move on, the better it is for us, isn't it?

14 comments:

charlie hotel said...

Good that you don't let others spoil your day. Expect something to improve it later...

Blur Ting said...

:-) I'm waiting!

petunialee said...

Ooooooh! The 2 of you are sooooo romantic!!

Blur Ting said...

:-D Thanks Petunia!

mooiness said...

Shit will always happen to you and you can't control it. But we all can control how we react to them, and what you advocate is true - choose to be positive rather than not. :)

huier said...

Monday! Tuesday! Happy Days! Wednesday! Thursday! Happy Days! Friday! Saturday! Sunday! Happy happy all the way!!! hope these happy thoughts here to stay... =)

Blur Ting said...

Yup Mooiness! I've learned much from you too.

Blur Ting said...

Huier -Ohh, you simply make me smile! And happy!

auntielucia said...

BT, yr post abt the bad conversation u had with yr ex is dated July 20. Did it happen on July 20 or 21?

Asking because I had a baddish day on July 20 (ie Monday) over my car's aircon. believe I got cheated by the workshop tho I can't prove it without going to gt lengths... so i'm a lot of $$$ out of pocket etc...

I notice another S'pore blogger also had a bad bad day on July 20...

Hence asking abt yr exact date of bad event -- if really July 20, then mayb there is some bad confluence in the stars! ;)

Zen said...

I agree with you. Once I was told not to 'take each day as it comes' as so many people tend to say but 'to make something out of each day.' It does make a difference, doesn't it!

Blur Ting said...

Auntie Lucia - Oh dear, car workshops are bad news. For me, it was on the 21st morning. Well, according to sources, the days surrounding the solar eclipse are not going to be that good.

Blur Ting said...

Zen - Yup. I agree.

WaterLearner said...

I hope you are feeling better today. I once read a story on Postive Thinking:

A man was walking along a road and a car reversed and his foot came under one of the wheels when the car came to a stop.

Negative Thinking Reaction:
Curse and Swear and Cry and Scream. Lamenting in Self Pity for possible handicap. But in the end, still get stuck in the wheel.

Positive Thinking Reaction by Divertion:
Forget about the pain. Think not about the injury or even the car. Look for the rainbow in the sky. Listen to the chirping of the birds flying above. Be Happy. Don't worry.
In the end, he is still stucked under the wheel. Handicap is still a possibility although ignored.

Positive Thinking with Focused Actions to Recover:
Remain calm. Alert the Driver that he was stuck to get the car off his foot. Study the damage. Call the ambulance. Check on insurance coverage. Take down the Driver's license plate.
While waiting for the ambulance to arrive and when pain starts kicking in ... Breathe. Look and admire the clouds in the sky. Listen to the birds chirping.
What can I learn from this episode?

Blur Ting said...

Water - Thanks for the lesson. You're always so positive, must learn from you!!