Monday 30 March 2009


Recently a group of friends (who are all single, by the way) launched into a passionate discussion about how parents spoil their kids these days. I choose to stay out of the discusion because I'm a parent, hence my views are biased. In all honestly, I have so much to say, I don't even know where to begin. I've been mulling over this for a week now.

Let's just say, until one becomes a parent, one shouldn't be too quick to make judgements. Many people swear they will never raise a spoilt kid only to find that they would have to take it all back when they become parents.

When was brother was young and eligible, he couldn't tolerate little kids especially the crying ones. My kids' tantrums used to annoy the hell out of him, he always threatened to punish them. However, he underwent a massive transformation when his daughter was born. Now, he's one of the most doting fathers I know and doesn't let two wailing daughters bother him one bit.

One reporter sums it up very nicely in today's papers. "Parents are destined to love their children, no matter who they are. But for children, it works the other way round."

Speaking from her experience as a daughter, she says, "We are destined to slowly discover who our parents are, and then love them in spite of their faults - and in spite of ourselves."

How true. Kids fail to see the parent's love and good intentions. When I was studying, mum would wake up at 5am to cook me a bowl of nutritious oatmeal every morning. I hated it and would pull the longest face at the breakfast table.

Mum used to say, "I am doing this not for my benefit, it is for your own good. " But of course we couldn't see that. As a teenager, I wanted independence and wished they would stay out of my life. Thinking back, I can't believe I harboured such thoughts knowing my parents had always meant well and are the kindest folks I know.

Life is but a circle, now it's my turn to face the music. From time to time, I lament that my kids don't appreciate me enough. But I'm glad they enjoy having me around and don't find me too meddlesome.

SK left his pocket money at home yesterday, so I swung by his school during lunch hour to send him some money. Knowing how much he loves eating at Thai Express, I wanted to treat him to lunch. He was clearly in a dilemma. His friends were waiting for him in the canteen but thinking that I was the one craving Thai food, he could go and keep me company.

We didn't go to Thai Express. He joined his friends for lunch and played a game of soccer after that but I was happy knowing that I've a sweet kid.


huier said...

True, life is but a cycle...and the experiences of growing up to getting old are indeed priceless! so, cheers to being a better person as a new day arrives!!

Amel said...

Hmmm...actually I'm worried that I'll be a parent who doesn't have the heart to say no...and that's bad if it means that I can't follow the rules I've set for them...but I shan't talk too much about this since I'm not a parent yet. :-))))

Blur Ting said...

Huier - Becos life is a cycle,we go through phases and each step we take adds value later in life.

Blur Ting said...

Amel - I'm like that actually but kids these days are smart.If you bring them up with kindness and love, the chances of them manipulating you is less.

Amel said...

Yes, that's what I'm afraid of - kids are VERY smart. They'd do anything to get what they want. Must learn to be more cunning then they are ha ha ha...