Thursday, 27 May 2010

I don't know him at all

Yesterday's meeting with SK's teachers threw up a few surprises. Both teachers said the same things - that he is very smart but is too chatty and distracted during lessons. He needs more discipline. If he focuses more, he can do very well.

If I were to hear it from one teacher, I would seriously doubt her, but hearing another one echo her sentiments makes me sit up and listen.

Firstly, to hear that SK is very smart is something new to me. His older brother is known to be the smarty pants around the house. SK, who had always struggled with math, started scoring A1 in this subject lately. Like me, he was surprised that he could do so well. My mum has been right all along. She always had faith in him.

But to hear both teachers complain that he talks too much in class is quite a shocker. Whilst YK is the kind who will not hesitate to speak his mind, SK is the one quietly chuckling in the background. He seldom speaks unless spoken to.

Yes, he was an active child who could not keep still for even one minute (we actually timed him). In primary school, we was always in a world of his own, fashioning gadgets out of eraser or pencil lead during lessons. Now that he's older, I'm pleased that he is channeling all that extra energy into sports. But according to the teachers, he's is still easily distracted. He disturbs his friends and he needs more self discipline.

Discipline? He's the most disciplined one at home. He cooks and cleans up, he washes his own dishes and bathes the dog without being asked. He stops eating when he is full, avoids junk food and gives up drinking his favourite drink (Coke) because he wants to be healthy. He works out and plays basketball to keep fit. He is thrifty and prudent in managing his money. When I check on him each night, he's either doing homework, lifting weights, listening to music, tending to his aquarium or working on his art. He seems pretty disciplined for a 15 year old if you ask me.

Maybe it's his group of friends? I've seen them and I know them. They're a tight group who spend lots of time together. They may not that academic, but they are certainly not bad kids. They just need to know when to get serious. They need to buck up this very minute.

The teachers are planning to break the class up to minimise any disruptions during lessons.
He thinks the teachers are biased and picking on him.

"Hey, your teachers care about you. They know you have the potential to do well and really want to see you going in the right direction. They will let you rot if they don't care about you!"

I could see that the teachers are fond of SK. They know he can achieve greater things. It's exasperating for them to see him this way. I am even more sad as a parent. I thought things were going well in school. He's such a great kid at home.

I began to lecture him immediately. I just couldn't help myself. I told him I am disappointed at his behavoir. I even threatened to ground him. I want him to improve and don't ever want to hear the teachers complain about him again. Instead, I want them to feel proud of him when he's done well.

Today he looks pretty downcast.

11 comments:

k@Ye_ said...

*hugs* He will be alright! :)

petunialee said...

poor SK... at his age, it is hard to not do what your friends expect you to...

The Real Mother Hen said...

I read your first para, then when you said you had to sit up and listen in para 2, I thought, hmm, that's so typical YK leh! Then it hit me - ok, this was NOT YK, this was SK! Eh? I was equally shocked that you were talking about YK! I also sat straight up and read.

SK being talkative?!

The Real Mother Hen said...

SK, listen to you mom, otherwise when this Mother Hen goes back, I will probably lecture you till your ears bleed, till smoke steams out from your forehead!

Amel said...

It reminds me of a story of my friend's younger brother. Out of the 4 kids, he was always thought to be "not the smarter one", but at the uni he got VERY good grades and he gained more self-confidence and he even became a president of some kind of activities there. He just blossomed!

My brother started to blossom when he was 17...at the uni, he became much more serious when he fell in love with a VERY smart girl (who graduated half a year earlier than most students), so he didn't want to be "left behind". He didn't graduate earlier, but still he got VERY good grades after that. :-D

I hope SK gets more and more encouragement from within to be more disciplined at school so that you don't have to say anything to him. Maybe it takes a little bit of time for the message to sink in before he realizes how much MORE he can do if he concentrates more at school?

auntielucia said...

Blur, SK needs more hugs than reprimand.

Have you thought tt it might be that he's so disciplined at home in order to please you/win yr approval, and because of the self-imposed restrictions tt he has to let his hair down when he's outside home: to get some balance!

Of cos being 15, he may go to the extreme, occasionally and so got his teachers' unintended attention.

Blur Ting said...

Kaye - Part of growing up...

Blur Ting said...

Petunia - He's really happy when he's with friends.

Blur Ting said...

MH - Yes! That's why I was surprised.

Blur Ting said...

Amel - I believe he's a late bloomer as well, only thing is, he needs to focus more in class.

Blur Ting said...

Auntie Lucia - I do agree with your theory. After I have cooled down, I spoke to him again and gave him encouragement instead. It's not easy to bring up a kid!