Sunday 7 June 2009


I was reading a book by Richard Eyre, the author of "Don't just do something, sit there" and "Teaching your child values".

There's something he said about successful parenting which makes alot of sense.

What do kids need? They need to be listened to, to be understood, to be valued. They need parents who will take the time to show them, teach them, help them, nurture them. They need to be made our priority, even when it is inconvenient.

They need long-term commitments of quantity time rather than the quick fixes of 'quality time'.

Availability is the key to successful parenting!

The more we are there for our children, the longer they'll be there for us. What they need isn't our expertise, it's our attention.

He also says Children are like seedlings, and parents are the gardeners.

Tiny seedlings often look the same but one is an oak tree, one is a walnut tree and one is an apple tree. No amount of manipulation will transform one into another or change their inner nature. The sooner we see who and what they are, the sooner we can tailor our gardening and nurturing to help them become the best of what they actually can be.

Good gardeners know that every plant is different and caring gardeners watch each plant and knows its nature well enough to know when to water, when to fertilise and when to prune.


The Real Mother Hen said...

You're a great parent Ting.
YK and SK will grow into strong trees because of you.

Blur Ting said...

Thank you MH! I do hope so.

w said...

Interesting post Blur.

I am not a mother but I really believe that listening is the key to understanding and that would make kids feel more valued. Less low self esteem problems for sure.

EE said...

Inspiring! That's also the very reason why I quit the corporate world to have more quantity time! The difference between whether we say, "I wish I would have", or "I'm glad I did" at the end of our lives is whether or not we take decisive action!

Blur Ting said...

Wen - Yes it is true. Even though I spend so much time with the kids, they still think it's not enough.

Blur Ting said...

EE - I specially agree with the part where he says we have to make them our priority even if it is inconvenient. Many of us don't have the right priorities in place.

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