Tuesday, 13 November 2007

My proudest moment

When Amel tagged me to blog about the proudest moment in my life, I was stumped. Is there a particular moment? Perhaps the moment is now.

When I first became a single parent, my biggest fear was how to bring my 2 kids up into well-adjusted adults. I didn’t want them to feel deprived growing up in a so-called ‘broken’ family (yah, that’s the way they like to put it around here).

When our marriage broke down, the design business that we built for 15 years went down together with it. Looking back, the two things were so intricately inter-woven, I can attribute the failure of our marriage partly to the frustrations of running a company together. The stress inevitably caused too many cracks to form in our relationship.

So, I began a new journey on a clean slate with no income, two kids under my wings, very little savings and a pile of debts. Running that business was all I knew and it would be tough for me to get back into the job market. Would I possibly earn enough to feed the kids?

To put it bluntly, I was in pretty bad shape. I suspected some people shunned me, afraid that I would come knocking on their doors. Of course not! Instead I registered a new business and started pounding the pavement. If nothing worked out, I figured I could sell noodles in the hawker centre. It’s not glamourous but I’ve heard of hawkers who slogged away just so that they could send their kids for tertiary education. If they could do it, so can I!

Within a month, my hard work started paying off. I was generating income. Sales grew the next month, and the month after. The friend whom I used to share office with (who had much bigger dreams) scoffed at my little business. It didn’t bother me because as long as I'm able to bring my kids up properly, I don’t need millions!

It has been more than 5 years. I’m still building my business, not resting on my laurels. I am proud to say that the kids have not been deprived of my love and any material needs. I have a wonderful relationship with them.

Whenever my friends comment that my kids are “well brought-up”… that is my proudest moment.


Amel said...

When I first read about your past, I've admired you, Blur. You were courageous enough to take risks. I know how tough it is, starting a new business (my Mom has her own small business and she told me that the first two years were the hardest!). You've done a GREAT job taking care of yourself and your family and the business!!! I salute you. *bowing* Especially since I know how people are in Asia when it comes to single mothers. It's already tough for them to take care of the kids plus they have to make money for a living, so for me, you're an INSPIRATION!!!!

Blur Ting said...

Thanks Amel. At that point, it's up to me to either give up or push on. And I'm glad I kept forging ahead (out of necessity and desperation actually). :-)

The World According To Me said...

Sometimes life doesn't quite work out how we'd visualised it. But it sounds like you have picked yourself up, and forged ahead with great courage and determination.
I bet your kids are proud of you, and vice versa.

Mike Minzes said...

That is the greatest success story ever!!

Unknown said...

Amel is right, you are an inspiration. What a wonderful success story.

Amel said...

Well, whatever the reason, you DID IT, Blur!!!!!!! And now you're in a relationship, too, so for me that's also courage in taking a risk PLUS you didn't get bitter/cynical/skeptical about relationships. :-))))

The Real Mother Hen said...

You are the best mom in the world.

WaterLearner said...

Hi Ting,

I am so proud of you. Indeed, in Asia, it is still considered a "broken family" when a child is brought up by a single parent. I admire the guts and determination in you to make it work. From the many posts that you have written, I am sure the path that you have taken is indeed working!!

Wow, A designer business of 15years and now you are into containers business. You really have diversified gifts. My hushand is now trying to setup his own company. I have heard of many married couples who worked together to set up companies that made money but failing in marriages. In this way, I am not as willing to give up my job to join him one day when his business picks up.

Thanks for sharing this proud moments with me. Your kids must be proud to have you.


Anonymous said...

No one's prouder of you than I am!

Blur Ting said...

World, Mike and Seagrape - Thanks very much. :-)

Blur Ting said...

Amel - See, I learned long ago that by being bitter, you only make yourself miserable. So, best is to move on and be happy.

Blur Ting said...

Mother Hen - Thanks. I think single mothers try harder to be a good parent knowing that the kids depend totally on them.

Blur Ting said...

Waterlearner - I have seen some couples growing closer to each other when they work together, others fall apart. It all depends on the personalities of each one.

The only difficulty is trying to 'separate' work and personal life. It's difficult not to talk about work when you're at home. If work just takes over every single part of your life, then the personal relationship suffers.

Blur Ting said...

Thanks CH. I know... I'm proud to have you too.

Anonymous said...

no matter what others say.. you are a good mom...you can see it in your kids...and im sure they think the same of you...that is ALL that ever counts...

Amel said...

Yes, that's true about being bitter, Blur. Still I admire you for that he he he...;-D

J@n!ce said...

I really admire your courage & determination. Your boys are gonna be very proud of their mummy if they ever hear the side of your story.

You are my superwoman !! Cheers :D

Janice Ng

Yuwie.com ~ invite friends ~ get paid

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