Since everyone's feeling kinda crummy, let me tell you a lame joke.
The new school term has just started. So the teacher told the kids, "You are all big girls and boys now. No more using baby words. You've got to use 'grown-up' words."
Pointing to a little girl, she asked, "Now tell us what you did during the school holidays."
"I went to visit my Ah Mah!"
The teacher corrected her, "No, no, you should say 'grandmother' instead of Ah Mah." Turning to another child, she asked "What about you? Did you do anything interesting?"
"I sat on the choo-choo!"
"Oh, don't use the baby word. You sat on the train." Pointing to a little quiet boy in the corner, she asked, "What about you Bobby?"
"I read a book!"
"Oh, great! What book did you read?" The teacher asked.
"Winnie the Shit!"