Tuesday 28 August 2007

Crap!

When CH told me he’s going for Health Screening at Raffles Hospital today, I went “Wah, it costs $700!?”

“It’s expensive but very thorough. Worth every cent. It includes Treadmill Cardiac Assessment you know”, he said.

I scanned through the list. “Wah, they’re going to draw your blood, check for VD, tumour markers, etc.” Suddenly my interest was piqued when I saw Stool Occult Blood. “Hey, that means they need stool samples! How are you going to bring the samples to the hospital? In a Ziplock bag?”

I decided to accompany him to the hospital for the screening at 8am. “Did you bring your sample?”

“Nope, they didn’t ask me to bring any.”

“How are they going to check then?” I’m not obsessed about the stool but I’m curious. I may need to go through the same health screening sometime too.

Raffles Hospital is nothing like the public hospital I bring mum to. Raffles is in a class of its own. The nurses are polite and efficient. There are nice seating and lots of new magazines in the beautiful lobby, even workstations where I can read emails or blog if I wanted to. It's like a 5-star hotel! But CH hardly spent any time waiting around. The doctor was ready to interview him right away. He was then sent to this room and that room for the different tests. After completing the treadmill and ECG, he was asked to pay and leave.

“What about the stool sample?” I asked. “We’re not done until they’ve checked your stool you know!”

As it turned out, before he left, a nurse handed him a zip lock bag with 2 wooden sticks and a card. He’s supposed to smear some sample onto the card and bring it back to the hospital the next day.

While he left the hospital with the sticks and card, I left with a grin on my face. “Jeez, they should have said so right from the start. Then I wouldn’t have to fret about your crap. Anyway, have fun with those sticks.”

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gosh Blur... you seem obssessed with crap... ha just my opinion... really...

Anonymous said...

...we now return to your regular meal time entertainment.

Blur Ting said...

JY, it all started with the thought of him carrying a bag of crap in the car or the train. What if the smell escapes? or worse still, what if the bag has holes?
:-P Eww!

mooiness said...

I didn't assume that it'd be in a zip-lock bag but I did think that the doctor or nurse could have just stick a stick (haha) into his anus - like how they get DNA on the CSI shows, except it's in the ass. :D

Blur Ting said...

haha, Mooiness, if that's the case, I'm not going for the health screening!

Mike Minzes said...

They wanted you to takes, secure and manage the sample??? Crazy! What are you paying the hospital for, advice on how to do it??

Crazy!!

Anonymous said...

Well, its good that they are that thorough. You want CH around for a very long time!!

Unknown said...

Stool samples make me nervous for the very same reason!

Anonymous said...

Nope. Doc only violates your anal sovereignty once for the prostate exam. Since Blur has no prostate...go for the screening!

Unknown said...

I can just picture you in the lobby, blogging and sipping a perfectly mixed Singapore Sling.
Oh, I was thinking of the Raffles hotel -- any connection between the two?

Blur Ting said...

Ok lah, I'll go for the screening if it makes you happy.

Seagrape - Hahh, wah, like on holiday! Too bad, these 2 are not related though Raffles Hotel is just down the road from the hospital.

But oh, it's a nice thought... mee sipping my Singapore Sling while CH's being probed and poked!

SOUL said...

i hope you do realize the sticks do NOT go up the yazoo... there should be some wax paper like things in the cardboard deal they gave him for the smear...have him look...then he lays it on top of the water in the bowl...goes potty...then just takes a little with a stick...the rest is self explanatory...then flush of course. and carry the zip lock in a brown lunch bag or sumthin.
anyhow... been there done that.... there should be directions, but just in case... that's how he does it.
c ya
pretty crappy thing to go thru aint it.

Blur Ting said...

Yes, Soul. Crappy!
Dip the stick in the crap, smear it on the cardboard. Put the cardboard in the zip lock bag and bring it back to the hospital.

He sent it in this morning!

SOUL said...

well.. i hope it doesnt come back "crappy".. do let us know he's ok.