Friday, 10 August 2007

The plight of the aged

I know of a Mrs R. She's about 70, married with 3 sons and a daughter. Why is she so miserable?

Son no.1 is married with one young son. Mrs R & hubby transferred their house to him and his wife. With no house to call their own now, they live with son no.1 but they cannot get along with his wife. She is disrespectful and shouts at the old folks all the time.

Son no.2 is unhappy at work and at home. He has divorced and remarried the same woman twice though there is no love in their relationship. He is not accepted into the woman's family because of difference in their religion. His wife refuses to let their kids visit their paternal grandparents. He hangs on to the marriage because of their 2 young kids. He has too many problems of his own.

Son no.3 is missing-in-action. He got tired of his married life just months after tying the knot and left the wife in limbo. He hardly comes home, doesn't want to get a proper divorce, ignores his family and basically does what he likes.

Daughter is single and middle-aged. She has never worked for anyone a day in her life. She lives with her parents and brother no.1. In exchange, she looks after her nephew and takes care of the housework, like a maid.

Now, I know of several people like this. Mdm A is another one. Divorced when her 4 kids were very young, she struggled to bring them up, holding on to 3 jobs a day. Today she shares the same plight. She leads a lonely life. The only time the kids call her is when they need money or some kind of help. Nobody drops in to say hello.

It's easy for us to comment about their parenting style or values but who is to say we won't end up like them?


Anonymous said...

It makes me sick that children can be so neglectful and disrespectful of their parents. What if they didn't have them? Barring a history of abuse, I cannot see any rationale for being anything but supportive and loving to the people who raised you.

Anonymous said...

I agree... but then again.. its really hard to judge until you've walked a mile in their shoes....

Epimenides said...

It's os sad! Struggling through life to raise healthy and happy children, and then they turn their back on you! It's sickenning! :(

Loz said...

I think it's easy to forget that one day we too will be old and it is sad that these days living in an extended family is more the exception than the rule it was for most of the first half of last century. All we can hope is that we have brought our children up to respect their elders, and that in turn as elders we can give younger people respect that they too deserve.

Blur Ting said...

Unfortunately sometimes we can't decide on who our kids marry. My parents have always made it a point to be independent and self sufficient so that they don't become helpless or reliant on anyone when they age. In that sense, they are well prepared for their old age. Also, they don't have too many expectations. If the kids are good and respectful, that's a bonus.