Tuesday 8 January 2008

What's going on?

It's 8am on a cool, wet morning. I've just arrived at the office having driven for 1.5hrs through heavy traffic, dropping off the kids and witnessing a traffic accident along the way. Of course the kids caught their 40 winks in the car. What I really want to do now is crawl back into my warm bed!

Prem, my apprentice, is leaving today (instead of Saturday) as he had completed his training early. It's pretty much like learning to drive. I can teach him all the theory I know but the real learning will come when our business in Thailand is up and running, when he's behind the wheel.

He's an enthusiastic and attentive learner. Like many privileged kids in Thailand, he was sent overseas (Australia) from young to further his education. At the age of 14, when most teenagers care about are playing and chatting, Prem had to fend for himself in a new environment, adjusting to a lonely life filled with angst and insecurity. He could barely speak a word of English and the first few years were such a big struggle, he learned to grow up very quickly. After 15 years in Australia, he speaks like an Aussie today.

I have many friends like him. Most of them are Indonesians who were sent abroad (to USA, Australia or Singapore) for a better education. While they had drivers and servants at home, they suddenly found themselves all alone in a strange land where nobody could understand them. It can be a pretty traumatic experience for a young person and they would never think of doing the same to their own kids now, not at such a young age.

I know how important friendship and familiarity is to my teenage boys. Maybe I'm too protective as a parent but it would pain me to see them struggling to fit in. Of course it depends on their personality. While some kids thrive on challenges and relish new experiences, others simply become withdrawn and depressed.

I guess our parents believe more in tough love and think we would emerge a better person that way. Maybe they're right. But how would I know? I'm still learning....

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've heard of Singaporean mothers who move abroad with their college-aged children to cook and clean for them...

Blur Ting said...

Become the maid! I'm not doing that!

The Real Mother Hen said...

Damn it, I miss the chance to say "you're fired" :)
How's your day?

Blur Ting said...

Ha ha, if he doesn't perform, I will send you to Bangkok to tell him. Still have chance :-)

Blur Ting said...

Actually, MH, you're one of them too. You went to USA for education and were so independent from young. I really admire you for that!

The Real Mother Hen said...

OH ME? I whined like a baby and came back every year, sometimes twice a year! Ops, now the hidden secret is out :)

Anonymous said...

hmmm that's tough...it's hard to know when to step in or when to let go... we're all still learning parents..just "winging it"..

SOUL said...

very good.
parenting these days has changed drastically. hasn't it?it was very very different 20 and 30 years ago.
but then again... so was the world we lived in.

have a good... night.

The World According To Me said...

I can't imagine living in a different town, let alone a different country!
I do admire some people.

Amel said...

It's one of the toughest aspects of being a parent, eh...knowing when or how or which or where...

My Brit friend and family moved here 4 years ago, when their sons were 11 and 13. She said that the youngest was more outgoing, so he learnt fast and got many friends right away. However, the eldest son was shy and introverted like me...and since he was at the awkward age of 13 (not a child anymore, not yet an adult), it was tough on him to socialize and stuff. That's why he learnt the language pretty slowly, as well.

But I can't imagine being shy and introverted and then sent away someplace where you don't know the language at all. AND you have to study at a school right away. Gosh! That must've been VERY tough, esp. when you're only 14!!!

Tsk tsk tsk...

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